I'm scared of boredom and a world without smoking

General
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Hi, I’m completely new here.

To be completely honest, I’m not even sure what kind of support I’m looking for by writing this post. A piece of me has known for some time that my weed use is likely holding me back. I’ve been smoking since I was 20, and I turn 23 next month. I’m young, pursuing a STEM undergraduate degree, and I know I have so much time ahead of me.

I think I’m dealing with some sort of imposter syndrome that’s holding me back from quitting. I smoke daily, but only at night, and am otherwise decently functional except for sleep procrastination from my smoking habit. When reading other quitting stories, I often see people describing addictions much deeper than mine, and it often leads me to validate and justify my use because “at least I’m not smoking all day.”

I’m also scared of the undertaking that filling weed’s empty space will become. The boredom, the emotional fluctuation… I’m halfway through a semester, and my smoking is likely only adding to my chronic exhaustion. I’m incredibly intimidated by the effects of quitting and the possible impacts it will have on my academics.

I often hear of people who decide to quit once they run out of product on hand. Thanks to freshly 21-year-old me, I have enough in stock from “trying a bit of everything” that I’d be smoking until I’m in my late 20s if I waited until I killed 8g of carts, and probably roughly 10-15g of bud. (I got to a point where running out was my biggest fear, and would often impulse buy a new strain to try as a means of curbing that.) I’m a small guy, so I can only go through it so fast. That money is already wasted, but it feels EXTRA wasteful not to use it anymore.

I don’t know, I guess I’m just looking for people who have been in my shoes, and to help me get over these self-enforced hurdles. I’m still in the romanticized fog this stupid plant has hanging over me, and I’m feeling a bit lost.

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Just get rid of it your stash and get past the initial discomfort. Once you are able to sleep well you will feel so much better. Weed is not doing you any favors, you don’t need it. Supplement with a good b vitamin complex and vitamin c. Even if you are not smoking all day, it’s not good to smoke every day. There are better ways to relax and there is nothing wrong with a little boredom sometimes. Just let it go like it’s no big deal, you deserve to feel better.

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There’s no need to read other’s addiction stories. Instead, try to recall as vividly as you can, how you used to be when you were little and weren’t even aware of something called cannabis. Remind yourself about your innocence, when you used to do things just for the love of it and you didn’t need to get high in order to perform those things.

You don’t need motivation or inspiration to quit smoking weed, because it is already buried within you. All you have to do is reignite that flame by meditating and going back to those non-smoking days.

All the best!