Hi! I am almost 25 and have been smoking in the evenings and binging on junk forever. I have gained weight, I feel disgusting, and I have lost all trust in myself. I keep telling myself it’s the last time, I am done, I keep throwing away everything I have just to go and buy it all over again the next day. I am absolutely pathetic. I don’t want to go into my 25th life year like this. I am sick of myself. It is the same cycle every single tortious day - I wake up motivated and disgusted with the previous evening, feeling sick from all the food and random napping on the couch, throw everything out, and feel like a new person, by the end of the day I start craving, I start daydreaming of the perfect mindless evening once again… I want to make it stop. Today is the morning of my millionth day 1, and I pray it is the last day one of my life.
Hey there @brundlefly, you’ve got this! It takes a lot of courage to recognize where you want to make a change, and you’ve already taken a big step by sharing this. Remember, we all have those “Day 1” moments, and they don’t define your worth. They’re more like practice rounds in the game of life.
One thing’s for sure, you’ve got the determination to keep trying, and that’s something to be proud of. Take it one day at a time, and maybe soon, you’ll be writing about your “Day 100” with all the wisdom and experience you’ve gained along the way.
And hey, if you ever need someone to chat with or share your journey, we’re here to cheer you on!
Hey you’re very young it took me until my mid 30s to realize I had a problem. Wish I had taken the steps you are taking now at your age. Good luck on your journey it takes a while but eventually the quit will stick.
Thank you so much! Ive never made it to day 100! Roght now a week seems impossible. Thank you for the support.
It’s ruining my life. But you are right, it is never too late and the right time is always now! We got this.
Congratulations on your wanting to change your life toward one without Weed!
Something’s we cannot do alone. Perhaps it would be in your best interest to get involved with a support group (i.e. Marijuana Annoymous) or visiting with a Therapist that you trust!
I am a good deal older than you and I too went through the same scenario of having, throwing away, just to get some more as fast as could.
I am at 540 days clean & sober, so I know it can be done:pray:
I relapced more times than I am willing to admit since posting this. I made sure to make aquiring weed as difficult as possible and it’s day 1 again! I wont give up 
You can relapse as often as you do and you can make it hard to access(but when you want it, you will find it)if you truly want to stop you need to come up with a better game plan.!
Good Luck:pray:
Join Marijuana Anonymous for additional support and accountability. Your doing it alone doesn’t sound like you are having success.
Life is always worth living and doing what you need to do embrace a better quality of life for yourself.
Perhaps speaking with a physician, therapist can help you with a better plan of action!
Thank You so much for the kind words. Not only is doing it alone extremely difficult, but I also have, loving but naive, enablers when I get weak, because, you know, weed isn’t considered “a big deal”.
Regardless!! I am 5 days weed free as of tonight. It is hard! But I am fighting every single day. I dont intend to stop and pray I keep having the strength.
I have to say, what I love most is feeling like a normal person. Having a normal dinner, doing my skin care routine and tidying up the appartment before bed as opposed to eating until I “pass out” on the couch, waking up at 2am drenged in sweat, shame, and fatigue… is everything to me! ⚘️
There are something’s that we just cannot to alone. Perhaps reaching out for additional help might feel scary, but trying and failing again and again, can truly be exhausting.
And having enablers to make things even more difficult for you, is a recipe for continued failures.
Doing the same thing over and over again, believing that the outcome will be different is the definition of insanity (not saying you are insane, but rather the situation).
Having a support group can be a major plus when it comes to dealing with addictive behavior. MA has meetings which you can attend virtually, you don’t even have to show your face!
You’ve got this!!! Watch a film distract yourself I was on 2 months but I caved in stupidly and I’m back exactly where you are. We can do it together !!!
Bruh, I get You so so so much. When will we learn that “just one time” DOESN’T EXIST!
I’ve fell for that trap more times than I can count. One smoke always leads to a full blown smoke everyday situation. At least for me.