Thank you for being so open and honest and for sharing your journey so far, in a very detailed manner!
I can relate to all that you are dealing with and know that none of it is permanent! As long as you don’t give in and reach for that hit, it will continue to get better and better. It may be hard to internalize this now, but the longer you stick with it, the better you will be equipped to resist and persevere!
Sending you 
